Although the internet has certainly brought convenience and knowledge to our living rooms, it has also created a new source of concern for parents. Rampant pornography sites as well as the growing threat of online predators has made the internet a potential source of danger for our children.
The most vulnerable age group for concern is the 10 to 16 year old bracket. This is the age where the adolescence child becomes more and more curious about the world around them, as well as starts to develop the understanding and ability to fly under the radar of their parent's internet monitoring efforts.
Most parents have seen the the various news programs where the reporter sets up a trap for online deviants by luring them to a location where they can be confronted by the camera and the police. A parent can't help but be alarmed at the seemingly endless line of perverts and predators that are stalking our kids.
Another significant concern for parents is the company their kids keep online through chat rooms and through their email correspondence. I think the average parent would be surprised at how many friends they have online that you have no idea about. An interesting example would be when my own 12 year daughter had logged into MSN chat and then forgot to logout. I was completing some file transfer work at about two in the morning on a school night - and keep in mind that my daughter was just going into grade seven - when as soon as I booted up my computer the MSN messenger logged itself back in without my knowledge. Within minutes, I had dozens of messages popping up from people that I had no idea my daughter knew with names like Sxykitten and SuperJock. To my disbelief, my own daughter was using the name sxygurl something or other in these chat rooms. Not only was she dead meat for using this screen name - but what the heck were so many of her friends doing up at 2 in the morning on a school night ? It was everything I could do to not pretend I was her and find out more about these late night friends.
Needless to say, like a frying pan over the head I realized that my innocent little daughter wasn't so innocent anymore. Given today's culture of sex and rebellion, what differs from when we were kids is that the internet gives them the ability to communicated in a manner we could have only dreamed about - and also makes them extremely vulnerable to the trouble that can come along with these ideas and behaviours. The Ethical Question of Trust and Privacy
What I realized was that my daughter had become very proficient at covering her tracks online. From deleting her chat transcripts, to secret email accounts as well as deleting her cookies and surf history - she had pulled the wool over my eyes with a combination of tactic and my blind trust in her to make the right decision.
With my blinders off, I began to look for a software solution that would still allow my kids to enjoy the internet - but would also ensure that I could keep track of where they had been and what they were up to at all times.
Now some of you might be thinking that this is a violation of privacy and trust - but after my own experience with my daughter, and being a practical person, I knew that ensuring my children's safety was of far greater importance then was the ambiguous issue of privacy. I don't let my kids stay out all night because it's not safe - and I no longer let them use the internet without proper monitoring because that isn't safe either. I can't help but wonder if the parents of the Columbine shootings had invaded their kids privacy more, that the entire thing never would have happened.
The truth is, your duty as a parent is to get into your kids business and make sure they are safe. Teens are about challenging their parents and searching for their identity and freedom - but they do not have the experience or common sense to make the right choices and to appreciate the dangers the world holds for the naive. It is a parent's responsibility to guide them and prepare them for adulthood - but for know - my belief is that you have to ensure their safety as a top priority. There are already far too many dangers we can't protect them from without ignoring the ones we can. Where there is a Problem, there is Someone Willing to Create a Solution
As the issue of internet monitoring has become a bigger and bigger concern for parents, the software industry has responded with programs that are designed to provide you with the tools to ensure their online safety.
One of the best programs out there right now is the I Am Big Brother suite. This internet monitoring software installs in what is called " stealth " mode which means that another user has not idea that is is running even if they open the computer process manager. I Am Big Brother then sets out to record every movement on the computer. It captures all key strokes, as well as records all viewed page history so you will know where kids are surfing and what they are seeing. The program will also capture all passwords, and will monitor all chat conversations as well as all emails - both incoming and outgoing. Is does this by taking continual screen shots of the activity on the system and makes it impossible for your child to get around the monitoring process. For value and features, it is likely the best program on the internet to ensure the safety of your child. Retail price by the way is $29.95 and is fair considering what is at stake.
This type of software differs from applications like the popular Nabyou does where it blocks the user from starting software or visiting unapproved websites. The problem with this type of program is that your child will simply potentially find another way to use the chat rooms - at a friends house or at an internet cafe. Where if they don't know they are being watched, then you stand a much better chance of staying informed about what they are doing - and then you can use your own discretion as to how to react to their behavior as well as how to deal with it.
Ultimately, how you protect your child online comes down to personal preference and beliefs. Each child is different - and some are obviously more prone to get into trouble than others. The one thought I would leave you with is it is far better to realize that you are being over cautious then it is to find out after it is too late that your kid was getting into trouble and you could have prevented it if you were aware of their activities.
